Being an Adult Nigerian
A skim through Twitter recently will tell you that Nigerian youths have yet again lost one of their own. A loss to the hands of avoidable premature death, or put more accurately — suicide. Living as an adult human can be nerve-wracking and plagued with the battle of meeting societal expectations. Even citizens of the world’s supposed remaining superpower are overwhelmed though, many people in other parts of the world aspire to be them. Youths of countries with WHO standard psychologist-to-citizen ratio are mentally exhausted and breaking under the pressure of adulthood.
Then there is living life as an adult Nigerian, being weighed down by the enormous negative assumptions and stereotypes made about us by the international community. The disregard our own government has for our wellbeing is worrying amongst others. But every day, we remain resilient in our stand to make something of our lives, striving despite the government not because of it.
For some, this doggedness comes at a cost — a deadly one. They have been strong for too long and just can’t do it anymore. The uneasy balance that lies between the ambitions they have for themselves and the ones those closest to them expect of them has made them slip into depression. In times like these, remember, you cannot do it alone. Those who have done it didn’t do it isolated either; they had help. Hold someone’s hands as you wade through this river we call life to feel less alone. It would be a while before society unlearns pressuring its people. Till then, you must learn to deal with the pressure that comes with living among other humans.
Our generation couldn’t be luckier with the limitless available resources for us to learn and connect. There are too many avenues to meet people. Research has shown that it is easier to speak with a stranger you would never meet- do it. Chat with people whose path you may never cross spill your heart out to them. Enjoy the anonymity that digital interactions avail you, talk to someone, talk to anyone.
Our generation has discarded the myth experience is the best teacher, more like Google or Facebook is the best teacher.
These conveniences, however, come with their own consequences. We are so quick to search for an answer on google rather than talking to the next person. But that is understandable considering the level of distrust and cynicism that have built up these past 10 years thanks to social media. However, try to put your phone down once in a while and look people in the eye. Amy Poehler put it eloquently when she said, looking into people’s eyes will tell you so many things. For instance, if they are sad, angry, nauseous, or asleep.
Ironically, companies worth trillion dollars have been built with the sole purpose of connecting people. Still, we have so many lonely people in the world. Facebook pride itself on the sense of community it creates for its users. Yet, every day, people die from feeling alone. The internet has promoted individuality so much that we only care about things that directly affect us. We check up on friends when they have stories up on social media platforms. We respond with the usual “kill them”, “mismanage us we are your Nigeria and more recently, KPK, OPG, OPP. While these are lighthearted ways to say hello to a friend, we don’t genuinely go further to ask them how they are doing. Caring about someone else but yourself helps remind you, you are not at the centre of the universe. Helping others end up helping you more than any other person.
The government has refused to do the most basic function we have mandated them to do. It is to ensure the wellbeing of its citizens. They couldn’t be farther removed from the reality of the average Nigerian. We are on our own, and we are all we’ve got. Reach out to someone and genuinely ask them how they are doing. The hype is good for self-esteem but keeps that person alive long enough to need the boost.
Tiffany Madison once said the problem with problems is that someone else has it worse. Let that console you. Eventually, if all of these doesn’t make you feel better, remember the words of JK Rowlings. Life is difficult and complicated and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know this will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.